Soul and Body

The crash is heard; metal against metal against glass. A gasp. A scream. And the horrid sight of blood. It mixes with the tears of your mourners. Running down the street gutters, it mixes with the pollen and the newly laid bits of tar that lie there in silence. A concoction is made that fishes drink to live forever. Unlike you. Your body is a mangled mess. Hair strewn. Flesh ripped from bone. You can't even recognize yourself. You decide that it's not you, it was never you, because, well, you can't die. You're rejection of reality leaves you empty and washed away, a meaningless spirit. You're dead. You're not dead in your mind. But the world mourns your loss anyways. You walk away without identity, because, of course, you were never that person that's now bleeding by your moving feet. And you are pure again, but only to yourself. You're not the same person so you haven't made any improvements, you're remembered by those bystanders as who you were, not who you are. But that's not you. Or so you proclaim loudly in your mind. With the deepest regret you walk down the street and you mean nothing to no-one; you've never existed till now; you're new and broken. Just like before. And already the relapse begins because you're so lost as to how to be born.

And For You

And for you I will smile despite the pain
Because it's the only way to win
The only way to show you
That I am not what I once was.

And for you I will bear it despite the pain
Because I know that you're worth it
You're worth so very much
That I can't even fathom it.

And for you I will listen despite the pain
Because I want to know all about you
All about this new you
That I have never seen before.

And for you I will love despite the pain
Because I can't stop these feelings
These feelings that embrace
That I don't have room to breathe.

And for you I will suffer despite the pain
Because I want you to come back
Back to this beating heart
That seems to pound to a rhythm that mourns the loss

Of you.

You.

Only you.

I Will Be Fully Alive

And the end is near
the finish line is coming
closer and closer it draws
and attracts
yet it is frightening
what comes next
it's always what comes next
it seems the present doesn't ever matter
the future is the only thing to focus on
well, you know what,
i want to enjoy myself
and so i will live in the present
because that is the only way to stay
alive

Together We Stand

The rain's embrace is the only one I have
I let it fall on my exposed skin
While all the others run away.

I am the only one there
To watch the tears fall
From her unhappy face.

I will always be there for you, sky,
Whether you are sunny or sad,
Because you are always there for me
And you allow me to feel
Both your joys and your sorrows.
It's just you and me now.
Together we are capable of capturing
the world.

Bedtime Stories

The silence stings the most.
When no one knows the pain,
When no one is there to take it all away,
And all is lost to the blackness of the dark.
The dim moonlight is the only thing
That illuminates the running tears
Which pour from your eyes,
As you remember.
Naked and alone you lie in bed,
Exposed to the raw emotion
That you express in its purest form,
While you remain awake
Unable to brush away the sadness.
You long for the things which you may never have,
Reaching for the now impossible,
And wondering "what if...".
And as you lull your self to sleep,
With your stifled sobs reaching no ears but your own,
You hope that one day
You can have him back
In your arms,
The place where you know he belongs.

Non-disclosure

There is this tiny hole
In the very center
So tiny and so unnoticeable
Unfeelable
but
There are moments
When instantaneous grief strikes
Me down
down
drowning
And I can't breathe
And it hurts
To the point of
breakage
The mask shatters
With the touch
Of salty liquid
That escapes from my
eyes
I am utterly
Blinded by emotions
Or lack there of
Over things that are
uncontrollable
And that anger
It builds
Because I never knew why
you
left.

Versus

When will that moment come
the moment of understanding
because no one really knows
i wish someone would know
please just make it stop
the misunderstanding
because it hurts a tad bit too much
sometimes i want it to go away
but still i suffer
in silence
of both the future and past
when misunderstanding
came before understanding
and the world cried
but it seems as though
it can't be helped
not now
not after now
not before after now
never
because when it comes to understanding
people misunderstand a lot
and no one is able
to separate the two

Nothing is Impossible

I look up and I see infinity.
The unimaginably great expanse
that I wish to travel.

Running with my six stubby legs,
I gain a head start
But I fall as I look away from the sky.

I try something new,
I focus
I spread my wings,
my dots smearing together
a red blur
and I fly

I am lifted.

Infinity is not so infinite any more.