Seasons

Do you know how the leaves turn,
When every vain runs with red,
Runs with a vast spectrum of fire,
And small globules of rain water
Magnify the crimson blood of life?

Like a chameleon the soft tree petals blush
And grow angry, festering with vibrant hues
Turning our green oasis into a burning hell,
Transforming earth into fire and brimstone.

The inferno of molten pits bite the eyes
Until...
Until a chill slowly seeps.

Then slightly, though surely, the passion drains
And the soul quiets into dormancy with the cold.
Dripping thick ruby to the ground, the leaves turn,
Shrug into a crisp death-brown that is swept away by the winds
Till the snow covers the battle wounds
And blankets the corpses with crystal innocence.

The horror of rage is forgotten and the ire is pushed aside
While the world covers itself in flakes of falling powder,
Clothing its pitted body with a cloak of pure white.

After a long expanse of calm nothingness
A gentle healing begins within and cleanses to without.
The hidden world delicately reveals its true self again
As green life permeates its surface.

And nature has undergone its cycle, its circle, its infinity
As the Earth holds fast to bear another gruesome battle
Between itself and continual metamorphosis.

Music Writing

I find it hard at times to write with distractions
So I'm going to write now while music is playing
And see how it turns out.
-------------------------------------------------
The world was a baby and the baby was a world
A quote or two and a fond memory
Yet not so fond.
I have Backspaced those three words that were not yet completed.
Who needs to say and see them anyways?
Not those fondish memories.

This song makes me think of love.
Old, ancient history...maybe.
Yeah. Most definitely.
But not I. I don't want to fall in love. Not forever.
And I don't want to fall. Not never.

While the rain does bring a hero it's just not mine. Never mine.
And...
I don't believe in heroes.
And by your side I will stay for never.
Because I lack the benevolence.
And I attained an apathy.
No heroes for me, after all.

Guitar and new song.
Silence.
Piano.

Step one....talk.
But...
You stare politely right on through.
Why do we always go opposite ways?
Am I always wrong?
Why do I keep losing these friends?
Because of this
I would save your life.

I really don't know best.
No innocence.
There are too many wrongs to list
And you would never listen.
But you know,
I would stay up with you all night
Because I know how to save a life.

One last choice: leave or leave.
Two things you will do:
Give me excuses and more excuses.
Of how
I would never stay up all night
Because I'm afraid to save your life.
But guess what?
I care too much to save your life.

I never went wrong but I lost a friend.
And it kept me up all night
Cause I want to save your life
A life
Life.

New song.

I am unfamiliar with this.
So lost and confused, dazed if you will.
A feeling of slight disgust.
None of these places feel like home.
Twenty five is not a child age.
Roof of my mouth I am not sorry...never will be.

Skip....

Fuck yeah.
Anger song.
I never escaped this hell
Because I never tried
And I'm caged inside
This nightmare
Without control
Tame this animal
Please.

No escape from myself
With all the lies and rage inside
Get me through this
With your no control.

See this darker side of me,
To tame this animal,
This beast that is not the real me.

no fucking control
no fucking waking
no escape.

ANIMAL!

Darker side of me that is a beast.
Not the real me?
How can I believe
If it is or not.

TAME!

-end guitars and such-

I try to let you try...

I try my hardest to let you try
But when your trying tries me
I tire.

I wish most willingly to let you wish
But when your wishing wishes me away
I wander.

I cry very caringly to let you care
But when your caring cuts me
I cry.

I reject you rigidly to let you receive
But when your rejection rejects me
I die.

So I am Sick.

So today I am sick
And as a result, I am at home
And as a result of that I have a bit of free time
Which is going to be spent writing here
Since I never get on anymore.

I've realized something lately:
Sometimes you just have to let things happen.
Why worry about something that is unavoidable?
Why stress over something that's already been done?
You can't change it.
That's why it's called the past.
It's over.
Done.
Through.
So get on with it.
That's what I sometimes have to tell myself.
The only problem is that I still have to worry about the future.
If I accidentally missed work yesterday,
How am I going to pay tomorrow's bills?
So now I have to revise my realization.
I have to figure out what is worth forgetting
And what I have to agonize over.

I sometimes wish, for this very reason,
That I could be a cat...my cat.
Or a speck of dust in the air.
Or a sun beam,
The very one shining on me now.
There would be no worries about the future.
Sure, you would also lose such things as goals,
Ambitions,
Hopes,
Dreams,
But at least you wouldn't have to worry.
I sometimes think it would be worth it
To become something that is not as intelligent as humans.
But I am what I am.
I can't change it.

So now I wait for the next stage
And my entrance into the real world.
I hope the stress doesn't burn me out
Because I already smell melting rubber.