So I am Sick.

So today I am sick
And as a result, I am at home
And as a result of that I have a bit of free time
Which is going to be spent writing here
Since I never get on anymore.

I've realized something lately:
Sometimes you just have to let things happen.
Why worry about something that is unavoidable?
Why stress over something that's already been done?
You can't change it.
That's why it's called the past.
It's over.
Done.
Through.
So get on with it.
That's what I sometimes have to tell myself.
The only problem is that I still have to worry about the future.
If I accidentally missed work yesterday,
How am I going to pay tomorrow's bills?
So now I have to revise my realization.
I have to figure out what is worth forgetting
And what I have to agonize over.

I sometimes wish, for this very reason,
That I could be a cat...my cat.
Or a speck of dust in the air.
Or a sun beam,
The very one shining on me now.
There would be no worries about the future.
Sure, you would also lose such things as goals,
Ambitions,
Hopes,
Dreams,
But at least you wouldn't have to worry.
I sometimes think it would be worth it
To become something that is not as intelligent as humans.
But I am what I am.
I can't change it.

So now I wait for the next stage
And my entrance into the real world.
I hope the stress doesn't burn me out
Because I already smell melting rubber.