I get upset when I read some things,
For example:

"Sometimes I pretend to limp in public
Children have asked me 'What's wrong'
I tell them 'Motorcycle accident.'
I hope it will scare them enough
So no one will have the lose their best friend."

and

"To the incredibly beautiful man
with the dreadlocks who I almost
killed when I pulled out in front of you
on 2nd street when I was in my car
and you were on your motorcycle: I'M SORRY.
I would have never been able to forgive
myself if I crashed into you."

and

"I am becoming a writer to give our nearly-perfect fairy tale the Happily Ever After it deserved."

Those things that people wrote just make me want to cry.
Maybe I'm just being over dramatic,
But I can't help it.
People should be happy. Everyone should smile. No one should die. No one should suffer. Both animals and humans alike (though they are one in the same). Why can't we coexist peacefully?
I just want to grieve for the world.
I want to help it.
I wish I knew how...
I will find out.

Relaxation

when i want to relax
i clear my mind
white space surrounds my entire being
and i fall into the bright nothingness
spiraling downwards into neverendingness
that leaves me senseless
i pretend i am the wind
and i move the way i'm told
i move to and fro
i move to
i move
i
deep breathing to the point of numbness
to the point at which i float
with the air captured in my lungs
in my mind i am weightless
a balloon
one that will never burst
except with the eruption of peace

What Do I Want?

There are so many things that I am looking forward to in these coming. So many that I don't know if I'm going to be able to do everything. I want to, but I think I might burn myself out if I do. Here is my list:

1. Learn how to play guitar, piano (better), rock cello, violin (better), and how to sing. I really love music and I want to continue to play an instrument for the entirety of my life. I also want my children, if I have children, to play instruments. Music is very important to me.

2. Learn many languages. As many as I can. I will start with Japanese, Arabic, and Russian. Then I will most certainly learn German, Spanish, French, and Italian.

3. Travel abroad. I want to go to Japan, Spain, Greece, and Italy. Maybe other places too.

4. I love biology...and therefore I want to study it. Maybe double major in comparative literature and molecular biology? I also want to major in literature though...Could I become a successful writer?

5. I wish to learn ballet. Every time I have taken the class I have loved it. It makes me feel physically good...like nothing else. All the stretching relaxes me and makes me calmer. I just don't have the money for lessons...With that I also want to participate in gymnastics, but I seem to be too old to do anything of the sort at the Family Y...

6. I must participate in some sort of environmental group in college. I feel like I'm not doing my part and I want to learn more ways in which I can change that.

7. I want to promote vegetarianism more...or at least a decreased intake of meat. I want to do this soon...as in during this school year. Guess I better get working.

Bed Bugs

When I turn out the lights
I grow afraid
Of the creepy-crawly things
That race out my mind.
They haunt me to no end
And cause me great displeasure
Because of the longing that they evoke
From my deepest heart.
I can't keep them away
No matter how hard I seem to try
And I get hurt every time
When they bite so hard.
I am left with their marks,
Their scar-causing venom
Runs through my veins,
And I have to hide from others
What they have done to me.
I beg and plead my brain
To send them away
But I am too attracted
Too seduced
To really have them leave.

My Aspirations

What I want to be
When I grow up
Is the summer wind that runs through your hair,
That caresses your soft face,
And wraps around you in a blanket of warmth.
I want to be the cold ocean water
That laps at your bare toes
And leaves you suddenly breathless
When you bathe yourself in it.
I want to be the green grass
On which you lay
And which tickles your body
In just the right places.
I want to be the gentle sun
Shining on every inch of your exposed skin
And warming you pleasurably
So that you know it's me.
I want to be everything that touches you.
I want to be everything that makes you happy.
I want to be yours.