I feel Stupid

I hate myself. I hate myself so much. I just want to hit myself and just take myself away from the people I love because I know that all I do is bother them, hurt them, and make them hate me. This life is stupid. Everything is stupid. Because of me. Fuck. I just want to vanish in my sleep. I just want to melt away from this world because I can't stand it. I can't stand the constant loneliness I feel. The constant sadness over every stupid little fucking thing. I pour my heart out and only so much comes back. I empty more than I am filled and it leaves this hole that I can't repair. I don't love myself and I don't know how I ever could. I don't deserve anyone else's love because of this. They say you can't love others if you can't love yourself...and I don't understand this. I don't love myself but there are others that I love with the greatest passion. Whatever. I'm just sick of the way I am. I want to change, but I don't know how.