Help Me

When I feel sad, I feel really sad. I feel abnormally sad. So sad that I don't know what to do with myself. I crave attention and help. I want someone to notice and be there for me. But I don't wanna ask for help. I don't wanna beg for someone to be there with me in my sadness...because I don't want to put that person through my own misery. I don't want to make someone else suffer. Yet I want people to know how much I actually hurt. I want to wear my heart on my arm without the fear of being hurt. But it's not possible. I'm bound to be hurt over and over again. Because that's how people are. They're out to get you. If not now, then later...when you're least expecting it. The worst time. I'm so afraid of it. So afraid of being hurt again, cut again, torn to pieces again. I think I need help. I think I need medication. I think I need hospitalization at times. But I don't want any of that drama. I don't want to be a problem, a burden. I want that help. But I don't want to be the one the family talks about. I don't want to be a burden to my boyfriend, my friends, my family. I hate to show them that I'm weak...especially since they seem so very strong. They seem not to need me. But I need them so badly. I wish I could tell everyone that. Show everyone that. I feel like I want more than I'm wanted. I crave attention more than I should. And it hurts me. It hurts me to love more than I'm loved....or at least that's how I feel. It may not be true...I'm sure people love me...it's just that sometimes I don't feel it. Sometimes I don't feel anything...and sometimes I feel too much. Oh, please help me somebody. I need it.